On Friendship

or, “How I’m Still Trying to be More Conscious and Deliberate”

William Deresiewicz’s article on friendship from early civilization through to this exact second that you’re writing another tweet is not news. You’ll read it and not have learned a single datum or point of view that you haven’t read or thought up yourself. But you’ll feel something after reading it. Three-quarters through I set down my Instapaper-running iPhone to contemplate what it was I have been doing for all of those five-minute quanta of I’m at the computer with nothing to do’s. But I’ve pared down my Facebook friends list before. It feels good! It’s just like cleaning out your closet and donating clothes and throwing away bottle caps so the bottle can go in the blue bag. Well, except for the actually doing something part.

I can’t stand Facebook, but I do. I’ve been somewhat careful about what I let myself put on there. Not because I’m worried about a public relations fiasco breaking open when I get tagged in a photo that shouldn’t have been taken in the first place. Just because there’s more meaningful things to do with your time, right? But here I am, Facebook profile live and kicking. What it is good for is making it easy to get in touch with someone. Everyone’s there! What if I ever go back to New York? It would be really handy to send a message over to the people I met there and let them know I’ll be back, right? So is Facebook my Yellow Pages 2.0? Maybe. Everyone’s on there, but that’s not who I need.

I know not everyone shares my opinion of Facebook. These thoughts bleed over to things like Tumblr and Twitter too. Do I need to follow everyone I know in real life anyways? If I don’t read about every upsetting conversation my coworkers have on Twitter we might have to have real conversations about it.

But further. Friends. Conscious and Deliberate.

So from now on, less on Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook. Flickr is still up in the air. It has more benefits than detriments but so does sharing photographs in real life. By the way, does anyone want to do print exchanges? Or postcards or letters. Please, let me know. (evans dot brandon at gmail dot com, not via Facebook)